Dancing Fools 7
by Persiana13
Summary: A certain insane author brings the insanity of this series to the world of Street Fighter.  Chaos Ensues!
1. Chapter 1

**Dancing Fools 7 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Capcom. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 1: I'M BACK, BABY! 

Several members of the Street Fighter Cast are in a dark room which looks like abandoned movie studio. Ryu, looking down at a slip of paper, asked,

"This is it?"

Ken, also looking down at his paper, nodded

"I guess so, bro."

Chun Li asked,

"Wait, you got the invite here too?"

Dhalsim observed,

"It seems we all did."

Juri snickered,

"Me too."

Chun Li turned and her eyes widened in outrage,

"YOU!"

A mysterious figure enters, dressed in a fine tuxedo,

**Knock it off, ladies. **

Elena blinked,

"Who are you?"

**Take a guess, sweetie. **

Ibuki scratched her head,

"Sorry, don't have a clue. I'd remember a cute guy, and you're not it."

**I'll ignore that. I am the insane author, Persiana13! And, now you will all do my bidding! **

The mysterious stranger began laughing maniacally.

Ryu blinked in confusion,

"O-K."

Chun Li said,

"I happen to be an Interpol agent and you're harboring a wanted fugitive."

**Your point being what again? **

Cammy rolled her eyes,

"Somehow, I don't think he cares."

Crimson Viper studied the stranger for a moment,

"Wait, I know you."

A horrified look appeared on her face in sudden realization. She screamed,

"RUN FOR IT!"

Zangief blinked in confusion,

"Why?"

Crimson Viper frantically looked for a way out as she continued her rant,

"THE CIA TOLD ME ABOUT THIS GUY! HE'S INSANE!"

**Reality challenged is more like it, but hey, whatever turns you on, Mother Hen. **

Elena snickered,

"You're funny."

Guile rolled up his fists and threatened,

"All right, pal! Your ass is mine."

**Dude, I totally do not swing that way. **

Dhalsim asked,

"Are you this immature?"

**All the time. Now, I'm sure you're wondering why you're all here. **

Crimson Viper stopped looking and pointed finger,

"YOU'RE GOING TO TORTURE US!"

Dudley scoffed,

"Are you mad? That is truly ungentlemanlike of you, sir."

**What Mother Hen over there means is that, by coming here, you've all agreed to be on my latest season of…DANCING FOOLS! **

Everyone blinked,

"Huh?"

**That's right. I pick seven couples to dance for the audiences in America and, the judges get to critique their performance. **

Guile smiled,

"Hey, I remember that show. You're ripping off-.

Before he can finish his sentence, the soldier got shot with a bean bag gun and knocked out.

**Ahem, as I was saying. Now, I'm going to go down the list of couples that I am going to put on the show, and then, we'll meet our judges. **

Ryu groaned,

"This is going to be bad."

**First up…Ryu and Chun Li. **

Sakura was infuriated,

"WHAT? WHY?"

**Because I said so. **

Sakura turned around to Chun Li and threatened,

"You did this, you little bitch! You slept with him to get paired up with MY RYU!"

Chun Li scoffed,

"As if you deserve him, Sakura. You dress up like a schoolgirl all the time. It wouldn't surprise me if suddenly you had stalkers with a thing for schoolgirls!"

Ibuki raised her hand timidly,

"I'm technically a school girl, too."

Elena said,

"Yeah, but you're a bad-ass ninja. No one wants to mess with that."

**All right, next up…Rose and Ken. **

Ken swallowed,

"Oh crap. I'm married."

**Calm down, Ken. Eliza won't watch this show on TV. Trust me. **

Ken was still worried,

:She had better not. She gets jealous easily."

**Next couple is… Guile and Cammy. **

Cammy blinked,

"Seriously?"

She looked at an unconscious Guile and asked,

"Any chance I could have that gun later?"

**No. Fourth couple of the night… Cody and Crimson Viper. **

Crimson Viper was outraged,

"WHAT? HE'S A WANTED CRIMINAL!"  
Cody flirtatiously smiled,

"Oh come on. I'm not that bad. Incidentally, I brought my ball and chain along. Wanna use it later?"

Crimson Viper turned and kicked Cody in manhood,

"Not on your life, bub."

Cody keeled over in pain,

"Mommy!"  
**I could feel that from here. Anyway, our next couple is…Zangeif and Makoto. **

Makoto was surprised and angry,

"WHAT? I HAVE DO DANCE WITH A DRUNKEN RUSSIAN WRESTLER!"

Zangeif smiled,

"Come on, pretty karate lady. Zangeif show you good time, ya?"

**Yeah, Karate Kid. You're new boyfriend over there might actually be the only guy that can show you a good time. **

Makoto folded her arms,

"I will kill you for this!"

**Whatever. Next couple is…Adon and Juri. **

Adon flexed muscles,

"Oh, yeah! What do you think of this, the god of Muay Thai?"

Juri flatly remarked,

"You do know I like girls, right?"

Ibuki was surprised,

"What? When?"

Juri licked her lips,

"Always."

Her purple eye flashed in seduction,

"You'd be surprised what I can do, cutie."

Ibuki shook her head,

"No, I totally am not into girls like that."

**And, finally, the last couple of the night…Guy and Ibuki. **

Ibuki blinked,

"On second thought…"

Guy whined

"Come on. We've got so much in common, Ibuki. We're ninjas! That means we're badass!"

**You are something all right. And, if you think that the couples are insane, you haven't met the judges yet! **

Next Chapter:

Meet the insane group of judges for this thing!


	2. Chapter 2

**Dancing Fools 7 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Capcom. Dancing with the Stars is owned by ABC. _

Chapter 2: Judge Mental 

**Now that we've established the competitors, I've got another announcement. I'm selecting my co-host for this show. **

Ken blinked,

"You mean, you're going to pick someone to be your co-host."

**Exactly. **

Chun Li rolled her eyes,

"Who would be stupid enough to do that?"

**I was thinking of Elena. **

Elena was surprised,

"Me?"  
**Yep. I think you're the most attractive girl here in the group. **

Chun Li was shocked,

"What am I, chopped liver?"

**Well, Elena will have to do something about her attire, but yeah, I think Elena is an attractive young woman. **

Juri licked lips,

"And flexible."

**That too. **

Chun Li was disgusted,

"Pervert."

**Flattery will get you nowhere, Ms. Li. Now, I've got one more announcement to make today. **

Ryu groaned,

"We're dead."

**I've got to introduce the judges to this thing. **

The chair spun around and revealed M. Bison tied to a chair.

M. Bison had a gag in his mouth as he said,

"MFMAFFMFMMAFMMFMAMMA!"

Chun Li asked,

"What did he say?"

Juri was angry,

"You're having M. Bison judge this thing? Are you nuts?"  
Crimson Viper rolled her eyes,

"He is nuts, Juri. I've heard stories."

**How ya doin', Bison? **

M. Bison screamed even louder,

"MFHAMFHFHHFAMFMFMAMMMM!"  
Rose said,

"I think he wants the gag taken out of his mouth."

**Geez, why doesn't he just say that? **

The insane author took the gag out of M. Bison's mouth,

**Is that better? **

M. Bison roared,

"I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE OR HOW YOU GOT INTO MY BASE, BUT THE SHADALOO WILL-!"

Before the dictator could continue, the gag was inserted back into his mouth.

**I couldn't stand the noise. **

Cammy was confused,

"How did you manage to get M. Bison to agree to this?"

**Blackmail. Lots and lots of blackmail. **

Juri asked hopefully,

"Anything I could use?"

**Right on this disc. **

The insane author pulled out disc from his suit pocket. Chun Li and Juri go for it, but the disc went back in suit pocket.

**Right, not gonna happen until after the show. **

Chun Li cursed,

"Rats"

Juri whined,

"I want it!"

**Let's go meet our second judge of the evening. **

Vega, who is tied to chair, is frantic,

"NO! I WON'T DO IT!"

**Dude, get a grip. Besides, something's always been bothering me about your character. **

Vega said,

"What is it?"

**You're into Spanish Ninjitsu, right? What the hell is that? **

Vega got defensive,

"It's a very important fighting art form."

**And I thought Muay Thai was lame. **

Adon shouted,

"HEY! WATCH WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT THAT! I'M A MUAY THAI GOD!"

**Oh, really. **

The insane author spun the last chair around revealing Sagat.

**Care to tell him that, Adon? **

Adon was stunned,

"M-M-M-Master?"

Sagat tied to chair, screamed,

"ADON! YOU'RE LUCKY THIS LITTLE FLEA HAS ME TIED TO A CHAIR! I WILL RIP YOUR SPINE OUT AND USE IT LIKE A JUMP ROPE! I AM THE KING OF MUAY THAI AND-!"

**Shut up! **

The insane author pulled out a mallet and slammed it into Sagat's head. Sagat was seeing stars as he said,

"Mommy, why are the pretty birds chirping?"

Chun Li blinked,

"Where did you find these three?"

**Shadaloo base. Their security system is totally lame. One look at me from all their troops and they all surrendered. **

Crimson Viper rolled her eyes,

"Not surprising, since you are totally insane."

Elena thought for a moment,

"I don't know about that. I am his co-host."

Sakura rolled eyes,

"I should be the co-host."

**I have spoken. Elena is my co-host for this and that is final. Now, in one week, we'll be back. Hopefully, you've all learned your moves. **

Ken looked at the camera, pleading,

"SOMEONE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD; HELP US!"

He ended up getting hit with a mallet.

Next Chapter:

The Dancing commences!


	3. Chapter 3

**Dancing Fools 7 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Capcom. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 3: SHOW TIME! 

Dhalsim was meditating in the lotus pose,

"OM!"

Dudley shook his head,

"How long has he been doing that?"

Vega said from the judges' table,

"Since last week, when we got dragged into this mess."

Sakura pouted,

"This sucks. I want to dance with my Ryu, and that skanky little bitch gets to him before I do. I bet right now, she's putting the moves on him."

Dhalsim chanted,

"OM!"  
Sakura looked at Dhalsim,

"What's his deal?"

Akuma growled,

"He is attempting to drown out the insanity. If I could be so lucky…"

Sagat shouted,

"This is an outrage! I am the king of Muay Thai! I should not have to be degraded like this!"

Dudley then realized,

"Which reminds me; how did you three get tricked into this?"

M. Bison screamed,

"THAT BASTARD BROKE INTO OUR BASE! I DON'T KNOW HOW HE DID IT, BUT HE DID IT! HE TURNED ALL MY MOST LOYAL TROOPS, INCLUDING MY DOLLS, AGAINST ME!"

T. Hawk blinked,

"Seriously? How did he do that?"

M. Bison was irate,

"I DON'T KNOW! IF I KNEW, I'D TELL YOU!"

The theme music for the show began playing and out stepped both the insane author and Elena.

**Hello, ladies and gentlemen! **

The insane author escorted Elena onto the set. Elena is dressed in a beautiful, tight white dress.

**Welcome to another edition of Dancing Fools! I'm sure you know my co-host Elena. **

Sakura scoffed,

"Slut."

Elena yelled,

"Hey, I'm better looking than you, bitch! I'm the co-host!"

T. Hawk cheered,

"Catfight!"

**Hey, Tonto! Shut up! **

The insane author whipped out bean bag gun and shot T. Hawk. T. Hawk collapsed into unconsciousness. Elena blinked,

"Was that really necessary?"

**Be around this business long enough, and needless violence is about as common here as insanity. **

M. Bison roared,

"I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, I SWEAR!"

**Wow, if you're this angry now, Buffalo Boy, wait until you see Rose dancing with someone else. **

M. Bison was infuriated,

"WHAT? YOU HAVE ANOTHER MAN DANCING WITH MY WIFE?"

**Well, I can't have you dancing and judging at the same time. That would be highly unethical. Besides, Akuma said he didn't want to come and judge. Something about beating Ryu again or something. **

Vega rolled his eyes,

"That explains a lot."

**Yes, it does. Now, tonight, we're going to have seven amazing couples dance off. Who'll go on to the next round? I don't know; this show was never one to get past a week. **

Sagat said,

"And I'm guessing that's your fault, somehow, right?"

**Well, things do get out of control around here quite frequently. **

Elena giggled,

"Like kidnapping us and making us dance for your cheap thrills."  
**Not just mine, but also the fans. **

M. Bison was shocked,

"Fans? You mean those insane, rabid psychos I saw coming in here?"

**Pretty much. **

Dhalsim chanted,

"Om."

**Well, let's get this show on the road then! Our first couple tonight is a real treat for a certain school girl. **

Sakura was beaming,

"RYU!"  
**That's right; Ryu and Chun-Li are going to be up first. **

Ryu groaned from backstage,

"Why me?"

**Ryu and Chun Li are going to be dancing…the tango! **

Ryu and Chun Li entered the dance floor. Ryu is dressed in a fashionable tuxedo, Chun Li in a Chinese style dress showing off a lot of leg. Sakura scowls as the two begin dancing. Every once in a while, when Ryu's back is turned to the audience and Chun Li would shoot a smug smirk at Sakura. Sakura begins to get mad and is about to do something when suddenly, Akuma leapt to the stage roaring,

"RYU! FACE ME IN COMBAT!"  
Ryu groaned,

"Not this again."

Chun Li folded her arms,

"Jerk, I was dancing with him!"

Akuma towered over Chun Li,

"I do not care. Ryu and I must fight, so I can prove I am the better warrior.

Sakura jumped from audience, declaring,

"Hey, I was enjoying watching Ryu dance!"

Chun Li was surprised,

"Wait, you like watching us dance?"

Sakura scowled,

"Not you. Your thighs scrape so much; I thought I was hearing a thunderstorm."

Chun Li got angry,

"How dare you? What makes you think you deserve Ryu? He's mine!"

Ryu raised his hand,

"I'll take that fight, Akuma."

Chun Li got between them,

"Not happening, Akuma."

Akuma scoffed,

"And what are you two twigs going to do about it?"

Before everyone's eyes, Akuma got kicked in the manhood by Chun Li. The audience winced at the pain.

Sakura shouted,

"HADOKEN!"

A blue energy ball hit Akuma in the face, sending Akuma through a wall, unconscious.

The insane author walked over and noticed the wreck. He turned to the camera and said,

**And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you never get between Chun Li and Sakura's man. You will end up with a Hadoken to the face. **

Elena said,

"Now, let's go to the judges."

M. Bison was intrigued,

"Very engaging performance. A seven!"

Vega noted,

"Such grace, such charm…and Ryu is not a half-bad dancer himself. Seven."

Sagat complained,

"You call that dancing?

He noticed glares from Sakura and Chun Li. Deciding to save his skin, he said,

"Eight!"

Elena cheered,

"22 points. Not a bad way to start off the show."

Sakura cheered,

"We did it!"

Chun Li said,

"Hey, I'm dancing with him!"

Soon, a catfight broke out. Ryu groaned,

"Help me!"

**Sorry, can't help you there, Ryu. Well, when we return, another couple goes on stage. Who is it? Stay tuned. **

The insane author pulled out a camera,

**Now, let's film this cat-fight for the fans. **

Next Chapter:

More Dancing Insanity!


	4. Chapter 4

**Dancing Fools 7 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Capcom. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 4: Haven't Seen This Before 

The insane author is doodling on Dhalsim's face. He then looked up at camera,

**And, we're back! **

The insane author threw marker aside hitting something fragile.

**You know; something. I've just come to a realization. **

M. Bison said,

"That you are completely insane."

**Bison, you were the one that tried to possess you wife's body. Now, that's disturbing on a lot of levels. And, while we're on the subject…why did you pick a woman's body anyway? **

Vega snickered,

"It was a secret fantasy of his."

M. Bison roared,

"VEGA! I WILL KILL YOU!"

M. Bison started to thrash Vega.

**I don't know why I even picked those three losers as judges. You've got a power mad dictator who secretly wants to be a woman, a wannabe Spanish ninja who likes to rip off Marvel comics, and then you got a one-eyed master of Muay Thai who seriously has this thing for tigers. **

Sagat got defensive,

"I do not."

**Sagat, don't lie. I saw you making out with that picture of Tigra earlier. **

Sagat started to sweat,

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Elena rolled her eyes,

"Whatever. Let's get this show going."

**Hey, that's my line! **

Elena said,

"I just want to introduce the next couple, that's all."

Sakura, her arm in a sling, shouted,

"Just do it already! I want to get this over with so I can fight for my beloved Ryu's honor!"

**Good point. I could always use more footage of cat-fighting anyway. Take it away, Elena. **

Elena smiled,

"Thank you. Now, our next couple tonight is one that is a bit more on the unusual side of the spectrum; Adon and Juri."

Juri entered in a purple dress, shouting,

"Bison! I swear, if you or your cronies give me a bad score, you're dead!"

M. Bison looked up from throttling Vega and retorted,

"Kiss mine!"

Adon entered on stage in tuxedo and flexed his muscles,

"Hey, babe! Wanna get down with the god of Muay Thai?"

Sagat roared,

"ADON! YOU ARROGANT PUNK! YOU ARE NO GOD!"

Adon started to sweat,

"Yipes!"

The tuxedo ripped and Adon complained,

"Oh come on, this is a rental! You have any idea how much this thing costs brand new?"

**That's too bad. Now, dance! **

Elena said,

"Tonight, Adon and Juri are going to be dancing the Foxtrot."

As the two warriors begin dancing, Adon is attempting to press up against Juri. Juri is making every attempt at self control as she goes along with the dance style is she unfamiliar with. However, Adon is pushing his luck as he gropes Juri. Juri has had enough…

Juri shouted,

"DIE!"

Her purple eye flashed and she jumped on her hands performing a spinning helicopter kick, followed by a jump off her hands and two hard kicks to Adon's chest. Adon bounced off the floor and looked up.

Adon, seeing stars around his head asked,

"Mommy, why are there pretty stars in the sky?"

Juri huffed,

"Jerk."

She stormed off backstage.

Elena blinked,

"Well, that was certainly eventful. Judges, what do you think?"

M. Bison laughed,  
"At least Juri did not come after me."

Juri appeared behind him and kicked him in the side of the head, then left. Bison is on floor, whining,

"OW! That hurt! Eight."

Vega nodded,

"Not bad, but I think Adon should have exercised some discretion. Six."

Sagat folded his arms,

"You are a terrible student, Adon. Five."

Elena said,

"19 points. That's not a good way to go, Adon.

Adon, still out of it, said,

"Mommy, can we bake cookies now?"  
**Well, so much for that. When we return, we're going to have another wonderful dancing couple. **

The insane authorpaused,

**At least, I hope so anyway. Oh, that reminds me, I haven't shot anyone with my bean bag gun yet. **

He fired at T. Hawk and T. Hawk fell unconscious.

Next Chapter:

More dancing Insanity.


	5. Chapter 5

**Dancing Fools 7 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Capcom. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. Miya belongs to Somniyo. _

Chapter 5: Desperate Housewives 

The insane author is talking on the phone, angrily arguing,

**You guys again? Seriously, don't you have anything better to do? I mean, it's not like my shows are ratings nightmares. Don't get me started on No Ordinary Family. Three words; Worst. Show. Ever. Oh, and by the way, Skating with the Stars is going to suck big time too. **

He hung up in frustration,

**Sorry about that, folks. Just some minor legal trouble, is all. **

T. Hawk said,

"Have you ever considered just giving up this series?"

**You know something; that thought has occurred to me. But, then again, what show could I rip off? **

Vega suggested,

"You could rip off Skating with the Stars, like you said."

**You know something; that is an idea. But, the thing is; I don't know if it's going to be a ratings hit with ABC. **

M. Bison said,

"Why does that matter?"

**It matters if I want to rip it off if it's a success. **

Elena blinks,

"You are confusing, you know that?"

**You don't know the half of it, baby. Anyway, let's get this train wreck moving. Our next couple this evening is Rose and Ken. **

M. Bison was furious,

"WHAT? YOU HAVE MY WIFE DANCING WITH KEN MASTERS!"

**Yes, and before you get too angry, let me tell you something; I couldn't have her paired up with you because you're judging. It would be highly unethical. **

Rose entered the stage with salsa dress, remarking,

"Besides, Bison…YOU TRIED TO TAKE OVER MY BODY! WHAT TYPE OF MAN DOES THAT TO HIS WIFE?"  
**The same guy who hires a wannabe Spanish ninja and a one-eyed pirate as assassins. **

Sagat glared,

"I resent that remark."

**Seriously, Sagat; have you ever considered dressing up like a pirate? I totally see you having a parrot on your shoulder. **

Sagat blinked in realization,

"I could have a parrot trained in Muay Thai! He'd be easier to train that that pest Adon."

Adon called out from backstage,

"I heard that!"

Sagat ordered,

"Silence, fool!"

He rushed backstage and chaos ensued. One moment later, Sagat returned to his seat.

Adon screamed from backstage,

"PAIN! MY LIMBS CAN'T BEND THAT WAY!"

Ken entered in a suit, asking,

"Why is Adon attempting to stretch his limbs like Dhalsim?"  
Dhalsim still in meditative pose, chanted,

"Om."

Ken blinked,

"O-K."

Elena smiled,

"Tonight, Ken and Rose are dancing the Salsa."

M. Bison shouted,

"I protest!"

A shotgun is heard clicking from behind him,

**Don't protest, and your head doesn't get to be my new colored wall paper. Let me tell you; blood and guts doeth not make good wall paper. If you don't believe me, ask anyone else in this room. **

Rose smiled,

"Don't worry, Bison. If he doesn't kill you, I will in the divorce case."

M. Bison said worriedly,

"But, what about Miya, our daughter?"

Miya walked in, drunk,

"Hi, F-F-Fa-th-th-th-th…Daddy!"

She tripped over cable and gets knocked out.

Elena blinked,

"What happened to her?"

Rose scowled,

"It seems that, since I announced our divorce intentions, Miya is attempting to keep us together by getting drunk every night and staying out at all hours."

**Has it worked? **

Rose shook her head,

"Not in the least."

**Well, let's get this dance started. **

Ken and Rose began dancing the salsa and, while they are fairly good at the dance, M. Bison was gnashing his teeth in anger as to the very painful things he will do to Ken should he attempt to seduce Rose. Rose was using some of her mystical powers to further enhance the dance, almost making it glow. When it is over, the two bowed.

**Truly a magical performance. Judges, what do you think?  
**M. Bison was surprised,

"Why didn't you tell me you were a good dancer?"

Rose rolled her eyes,

"You were too busy planning world domination to take notice of me!"

M. Bison whined,

"I'm an evil dictator! I am supposed to be putting plans for world domination above all else!"

Rose said skeptically,

"Including your wife and daughter?"

M. Bison pouted,

"I was going to let you have one country each. Honest!"

Rose scoffed,

"Which one, Greece?"

M. Bison shouted,

"NO!"

He paused and then said,

"YES!"

Rose turned to Ken, seductively remarking,

"Well, stud. Are you single?"

Eliza entered, screaming,

"TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF OF MY HUSBAND, BITCH!"  
Ken freaked out,

"What the hell? I thought you weren't watching the show!"

**I lied. I put her in the green room while we were taping. She's been watching everything that's happening. **

Eliza glared,

"Rose, don't you dare touch my man!"

A cat-fight erupted and the audience began cheering.

Ken asked,

"Shouldn't you be sending the scores?"

M. Bison nodded,

"Yes, we should. Eight!

Vega agreed,

"Eight."

Sagat exclaimed,

"Nine!"

Elena cheered,

"25 points! Ken and Rose are in the lead!"

**That's great to hear. When we return, we'll have more dances… **

There is a crashing sound.

**And, hopefully, more cat fights too. **

Next Chapter:

More Dancing Insanity!


	6. Chapter 6

**Dancing Fools 7 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Capcom. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 6: Cops and Criminals 

**Welcome back! **

A loud crashing was heard.

**As you can see, everything here is normal.**

Another loud crashing was heard. Crimson Viper yelled from backstage,

"I swear to God, Cody; I'll do things to you even the CIA wouldn't condone!"

Adon screamed from backstage,

"PAIN! I AM IN TERRIBLE PAIN!"

Elena blinked,

"This is normal?"

M. Bison asked,

"You've been here and you don't know what's going on?"

Elena shook her head,

"No, it's not like that. I mean, why do all of these things happen?"

**Because, as an author, I am completely out of my mind. **

Vega rolled his eyes,

"Like we haven't figured that out already."

**Shut up, you Wolverine rip-off. **

Sagat was taking with bird on his shoulder,

"Now, can Polly do the kick?"  
Polly squawked,

"Awk!"

The little parrot did the spin kick and exclaimed,

"Polly want a cracker!"

Sagat cheered,

"Yes! I have done it. I was able to train a bird to do a Muay Thai kick! Now, go kill Adon!"

Polly flapped her wings and took off,

"Awk! Kill Adon! Awk!  
Polly flew backstage.

**Oh, this I've got to see. **

The insane author took off with a camera.

Elena shrugged,

"Oh, well, let's go introduce our next couple of the evening. These two are as opposite as night is to day. Crimson Viper and Cody!"

Crimson Viper entered the stage in a sexy Samba dress, complaining,

"What the hell is this?"

Cody entered in Samba outfit, with chains,

"It's the dance of love, sweetie. Damn, you look hot!"

Crimson Viper grabbed Cody's neck and threatened,

"I swear, you are dead if you touch me inappropriately."

Cody smirked,

"Will it help if I have the ball and chain on?"

Crimson Viper said threateningly,

"Somehow, I don't think it would."

Cody flirted,

"Come on, girl. You like to put guys in handcuffs."

Crimson Viper glared,

"I will put you in a coma if you don't shut up."

Elena, ignorant of the fight, said cheerfully,

"Tonight, Crimson Viper and Cody will be dancing the sexy Samba."

The couple began to dance. Crimson Viper made it painfully aware in her face that she did not like Cody, and attempted to put up a front. Cody was dancing surprisingly well for a guy who is handcuffed and shackled with a ball and chain. However, the dance concluded without incident.

Elena applauded,

"Beautiful performance. Well, judges, what do you think?"

M. Bison noted,

"Well, I thought the form was great, but the painful expression in Crimson Viper's face made it clear she did not want to be near Cody. Seven."

Vega nodded,

"Gotta agree with Bison. Seven."

Sagat had tears in his eyes as he said,

"That was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. Ten!"

M. Bison blinked,

"What the hell are you on?"

Crimson Viper was surprised,

"You mean; we get a ten?"

Elena smiled,

"Wow, 24 points. Not bad, not bad at all."

Adon said from backstage.

"What the hell do you want, bird brain?"

Polly said from backstage,

"Awk! Kill Adon!"

Loud crashes were coming from backstage. It was the sound of a fight breaking out.

Adon screamed,

"SAGAT, HELP ME!"

Sagat called out,

"No! You have failed as a student. From now on, Polly is my new student in Muay Thai!"

Elena rolled her eyes,

"Well, that went well. When we return, more dancing insanity comes!"

Dudley complained,

"For the love that is decent and humane; let us go!"

He got kicked in the face by Elena. She turned to the camera and smiled sweetly.

Next Chapter:

More dancing Insanity!


	7. Chapter 7

**Dancing Fools 7 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Capcom. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 7: Ninjitsu Dance! 

The insane author returned from backstage with Polly flying in front,

**Sagat, you missed it. That was the greatest display of Muay Thai I've ever seen in my life. **

Polly landed on Sagat's shoulder,

"Awk! Where's my cracker?"

Sagat said,

"Here it is."

He gave a cracker to Polly,

"You know something; I should start training more birds in the art of Muay Thai!"

**I'm sure after watching this video; a lot of parrot owners are going to want that. You know, if they want homicidal parrots as pets. **

Elena asked,

"What happened to Adon? "  
**I sent him to the hospital. For a guy that just had every bone in his body broken, he sure does complain a lot. **

Dhalsim chanted,

"Om."

E. Honda stumbled into the stands carrying a fridge,

"Did I miss anything?"

T. Hawk groaned,

"Only the usual insanity."

E. Honda smiled,

"Great!"

He dropped fridge on stand, sending T. Hawk flying out of his seat and landing head first into the concrete,

"Time for my sandwich!"

He opened the fridge, pulled out ten foot long sandwich, and began eating.

T. Hawk got up and said,

"What was that for?"

E. Honda looked up,

"I'm hungry!"

He resumed eating.

Elena blinked,

"Wow, you've got a big appetite."

E. Honda declared,

"I am sumo! I must have big appetite."

Vega attempted to steal some food. E. Honda saw this and grabbed Vega's mask threatening,

"You really want to try that, skinny?"

Vega shook his head and squeaked,

"No."

He silently stalked away.

Elena rubbed her hands,

"Well, let's get on with the show. Tonight, we've got two ninjas performing."

Ibuki entered the stage and looked at her outfit,

"What is all this?"

**It's called hip hop break dancing. You and Guy are going to be dancing in that style. **

Guy entered in similar outfit,

"Why are our outfits similar?"

**You mean, you've been training for a whole week and you don't know? **

Guy laughed,

"Just kidding. This is going to be great."

Ibuki said,

"I hope so, for your sake."

Ibuki and Guy began dancing. The rhythm, beat, and talent was all there; the two of them using their acrobatics training to enhance the performance. Things are looking well until…

E. Honda let loose with a loud belch,

"BELCH!"

The loud sound escaped, knocking Ibuki and Guy, as well as the judges, Elena, and most of the people in the stands, backstage through a wall. He said sheepishly,

"Sorry."

**Oh, this is going to be a bitch to clean up. Someone get me the broom! **

Elena asked, her dress over her head,

"What's going on?"

Ibuki shrugged,

"I don't know."

She noticed, in her lap, Guy's head. She squealed,

"YIPPEE!"

She picked up Guy and carried him off stage.

M. Bison shook head furiously,

"Honda, you jackass! What the hell?"

Vega whined,

"I can't get my claw out!"

He tugged on his claw and the wall came down on top of him.

Sagat asked,

"Polly, where are you?"

**Let's just say that Guy and Ibuki get a thirty for this, because I don't have time to deal with the judges complaining. Well, when we return, more dancing couples at work. **

The insane author looked around,

**I really need to get a maid around here. **

Next Chapter:

More dancing Insanity!


	8. Chapter 8

**Dancing Fools 7 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Capcom. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 8: Ballet Blunders 

**I guess I should be grateful that I have you all to help clean up. **

T. Hawk came out dressed as a maid,

"Why isn't E. Honda helping?"

E. Honda called out,

"Hey, I'm on my break."

He pulled out seven-layer wedding cake out of fridge and began eating it.

Elena blinked,

"How did that big a cake get inside that fridge?"  
E. Honda said simply,

"Two words; suspended disbelief."

Dan entered in a maid outfit,

"How dare you! First, you kidnap Sakura and them make me part of this madness?"

**Make a complaint with the union, pal. I need this place set up for the next dancing couple. **

Elena asked,

"Guile and Cammy?"

**No, I think we're doing Zangief and Makoto next. Besides, I should be lucky that E. Honda isn't eating a gallon of baked beans. **

M. Bison shuddered,

"That is disturbing."

Vega snickered,

"Yeah, imagine that happening. E. Honda would be a chemical weapon."

E. Honda stopped eating and swallowed what was in his mouth,

"Are you saying my gas is a chemical weapon?"

Sagat grinned,

"It's probably what's causing global warming."

E. Honda scoffed,

"Coming from you, Blackbeard, that's a compliment."

Sagat shouted,

"What did you say?"

He whistled to Polly,

"KILL!"

E. Honda laughed,

"Oh yeah, a little chicken is going to hurt me."

E. Honda got a roundhouse kick to the face and sent flying into a wall, the fridge crushing underneath his weight.

**Damn, Sagat. That bird is trained. **

Sagat smirked,

"You know it. Which reminds me; M. Bison, I was wondering if I could have a raise when this is over."

M. Bison shook his head,

"Never!"

Vega smiled,

"Me too. I want to be paid more than the minimum wage!"  
M. Bison explained,

"But you get paid commissions too, you know?"

Sagat threatened,

"Pay us more, or Polly will get mad."

Polly nodded,

"Awk! You wouldn't like Polly when I'm mad! Awk!"

M. Bison held his head,

"I can't believe I am caving into a bird. Fine, you get raises."

**Nice. Well, let's get on with our next couple. **

Zangief entered the stage in a tutu, screaming,

"I protest! I am Zangief, world's greatest wrestler!"

Makoto entered in tight ballet clothes,

"I think you got these costumes mixed up."

**No, I didn't. **

The insane author tossed a coin on the floor near Zangief.

Zangief exclaimed,

"Ooh, shiny!"

He bent down to pick up coin.

M. Bison screamed,

"Oh, God! It's like a walrus flossing!" (1)

Vega groaned,

"I just threw up in my mask."

Sagat hurled on a side of table, shouting,

"Change out of that thing, already!"  
E. Honda blinked,

"I just suddenly lost my appetite."

Dhalsim continued chanting,

"Om."

**Well, that was certainly eventful. Ok, you know the drill, Elena. **

Elena nodded,

"Yep. Tonight, Makoto and Zangief will be ballet dancing."

Makoto and Zangief began doing ballet, much to the displeasure of both. They were doing surprisingly well, until Zangief began running up to Makoto, expecting to be caught in the air. Makoto took one look and, as Zangief jumped high in the air, she stepped out of the way. Zangief crashed into the stage, then through it, and then into the basement.

**Great, it's just one disaster after another around here. Why didn't you catch him, Makoto? **

Makoto exclaimed,

"The guy was five times my size. You think I'm sacrificing this body to catch a drunken Russian like him."

Zangief called from basement,

"Zangief not drunk. Zangief hammered!"  
Makoto groaned,

"That's the same thing, jackass."

**Well, we should just go the judges. While they're judging this, I'm going to find some floor boards and some nails. **

The insane authorleft to find nails and wood.

Zangief complained,

"Ow! What are these little metal things?"

Elena sighed,

"I see Zangief found the nails. Now, what do our judges think?"  
M. Bison laughed,

"Honestly, it was lots of fun to see Zangief fall like that. Nine!"

Vega shook his head,

"You two have made a mockery of a great art form. Five."

Sagat smiled,

"Well, it was funny to see the costumes on the other person. Nine."

Elena cheered,

"23 points. That's pretty good."

Makoto shouted,

"Where do you get off giving me five, Vega?"

She jumped the table and throttled Vega.

Vega screamed,

"Help! I haven't recovered from my thrashing from M. Bison."

Elena smiled,

"Well, that's fun. We've got one more dancing couple to go through, so stay tuned!

Next Chapter:

The final dancing couple!

(1) Family Guy Reference


	9. Chapter 9

**Dancing Fools 7 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Capcom. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 9: Last One In 

**Well, that was certainly a workout. **

The insane author put his hammer away.

**You know, I never knew I had an underground tunnel underneath my studio. Maybe, when this show is over, I'll go explore it. **

Elena smiled,

"You could make it a new series to write about."

M. Bison rolled his eyes,

"Oh, yeah, that's original. Adventures of an insane author."

He got hit with a bean bag,

"Ow! What the hell?"

**Shut up, Buffalo Man! **

Dhalsim chanted,

"Om."

Vega shook his head,

"Dhalsim is still on that."

Sagat said,

"I think he is blocking the insanity out."

T. Hawk blinked,

"Seriously? Skinny legs is blocking us out."

He got in front of Dhalsim and shouted,

"Ooga-booga!"

Dhalsim opened his eyes and shouted,

"YOGA FIRE!"

A jet of fire emerged from Dhalsim's mouth, setting T. Hawk on fire.

T. Hawk screamed,

"HELP ME! I'M ON FIRE!:

He ran around the studio and fell into new hole just repaired.

**And I just fixed that thing, too! Argh, this sucks. Now I have to go down there, extinguish T. Hawk, drag his sorry ass out of the hole, then fix the hole again! **

Dhalsim closed his eyes and began meditating again,

"Om."

Elena looked at the camera and said,

"And that is why, folks, you do not disturb Dhalsim during his meditation. You will be set on fire and fall down a secret escape tunnel."

Vega blinked,

"I think she's becoming evil."

Sagat rolled his eyes,

"Ya think. I'm scared to let Polly go near her."

Polly said,

"Awk! Polly wants a cracker."

Elena smiled,

"Well, anyway, we really only have one more couple to get to tonight; Guile and Cammy!"

Guile entered in typical fifties attire, complaining,

"What the hell is this?"

Cammy entered in typical fifties poodle skirt and blouse, said,

"These costumes were left for us."

Elena cheered,

"It's Doo Wop!"  
Everyone blinked,

"Huh?"

Guile complained,

"I am a military man, Elena! I am not going to dance to this Doo Wop!"

Elena smiled,

"Not even for a chance in your own starting fiction?"

Guile perked up,

"Starring role? Well, that's a little different."

Elena said,

"Take it away."

Guile and Cammy began dancing to typical fifties music. It was fun, and energetic, and Cammy was kicking high. In fact, she kicked so high, she accidentally landed one on Guile's chin. Guile was sent flying into the judges and knocked them all out.

Cammy winced,

"Guile?"

Guile saw stars around his head and asked,

"Mommy, why are there stars in the daytime?"

Cammy cried out,

"What have I done?"

Elena smiled,

"Nothing. I only said those things to get you and him to dance. I really am doing this for the ratings."

Cammy screamed,

"Why you little bitch!"

Cammy tackled Elena and a cat-fight broke out.

T. Hawk cheered,

"Woot! Cat fight!"

**What? **

The insane author raced from downstairs up with camera.

**Sweet! What do you think judges? Oh, wait, you're all knocked out. Well, perfect score then! I am the host, and what I say goes! **

E. Honda groaned,

"Great, he's finally snapped."

Dhalsim opened his eyes,

"Why is this marker on my face?"

Next Chapter:

Exciting Conclusion!


	10. Chapter 10

**Dancing Fools 7 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Capcom. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. Miya belongs to Somniyo. _

Chapter 10: Finale! 

**Well, this has certainly been an eventful show! **

M. Bison was mortified;  
"I have never seen anything more traumatic in my life."

Vega nodded,

"Yeah, I agree. I mean, I almost lost my mask. You don't want to see what's underneath this."

Sagat took off Vega's mask,

"Huh. I see a cold sore on your lip."

Vega screamed girlishly,

"MY MASK!"

He quickly covered up his face and ran away.

Elena got up from backstage,

"Cammy is a tough fighter, I'll say that."

**Elena, your dress. **

Elena saw the tear in it and shrugged,  
"Oh well."

She ripped off dress until it was a bikini,

"What do you think?"

Dhalsim chanted,

"Om."

T. Hawk shook his head,

"How did Dhalsim go through this whole thing without succumbing to the ravages of this insanity?"

Dhalsim opened his eyes,

"Is it done already?"

**Pretty much. **

Dee Jay entered,

"I am never doing this again."

Sakura entered,

"Unless I got to dance with my Ryu instead of that tramp Chun Li."

Chun Li shouted from backstage,

"Up yours, Sakura!"

Ibuki shouted from backstage as well, something akin to screams of passion. Eliza screamed from backstage,

"KEN, YOU HAVE A LOT TO ANSWER FOR!"  
**Wow, I had no idea I was creating so much chaos with these stories. **

Miya ran by drunkenly yelling,

"Yay! I'm on top of the world!"

She tripped on a stray cable and fell down the hole that was just repaired.

**Oh, come on! Again! **

Crimson Viper entered the room, frantic,

"EVERYBODY, RUN!"  
Sagat asked,

"What is it?"

Crimson Viper screamed,

"E. Honda just found the baked beans!"

She then ran out the front door.

**Seriously? **

The insane author pulled out a box from underneath the stage,

**Everyone, put these on. **

Sakura blinked,

"Bunny Masks? How will this protect us?"  
**It's not. It's supposed to distract you while I put on the one gas mask. **

The insane author puts on the gas mask and disappeared through another secret passage. Elena blinked,

"Did he just leave us here?"

E. Honda entered,

"Hey, guys!"

T. Hawk asked concernedly,

"Did you eat the beans?"

E. Honda blinked in confusion,

"What are you talking about? There weren't any."

**Moments later… **

Crimson Viper was speeding in her car triumphantly laughing,

"Hah! I finally got the disk on M. Bison and Shadaloo! Yay!"

Juri emerged from a duffel bag in the back,

"Give it to me! M. Bison must die!"

Crimson Viper said,

"Not until I get it back to headquarters!"

The two began fighting in the car for the disk.

End of Dancing Fools 7


End file.
